Faye's Sacrifice Page 12

  They’d come because they’d sought her out.

  Such a realization made her tears spill over. She ran faster, erupting from the entrance to the castle and out into the cold night air.

  All at once, there they were. Her mother with Kinsey on one side and Clara on the other.

  “Faye!” Kinsey’s voice pierced the quiet with excitement, and the trio ran toward her.

  They met halfway in a fiercely clashing hug. Arms curled around Faye, bringing with them the familiar sweet scent. Faye closed her eyes, welcoming the torrent of memories of her home and family, ones she’d turned away from previously in an attempt to stay sane.

  They rushed back now, brought on by the familiarity of her sisters’ and mother’s voices and the clean perfume of lavender. Clara sewed the little sachets every time she harvested her herbs, setting aside a batch of buds specifically to perfume the kirtles stored at the foot of their beds. It was such a small, simple thing that Faye had always thought foolish.

  Now, it was the smell of home. Of love.

  “Thanks be to God ye’re here,” her mother whispered.

  “Where’s Drake?” Faye hoped he hadn’t left his post at Werrick Castle, not when it meant so much to him.

  “Two or three days behind us.” Clara glanced at the horizon as if she might be able to see him making his way to Dunrobin already. “We had a missive sent to him.”

  “Are ye hurt?” Mum held Faye by the shoulders and looked at her, examining her with a sharp gaze from her head to the scuffed toes of her shoes.

  “I’m fine, Mum,” Faye reassured her.

  “We were so worried.” Clara caught Faye’s hand and clung to it as tears filled her crystal blue eyes.

  “How did ye know to come here?” Faye asked.

  “Yer grandda approached me a day before ye disappeared asking about yer betrothal,” her mother replied. “When ye dinna come home, it was too easy to guess what that arse of a man had done.” The anger on her face deepened to sorrow. “I worried about ye every day, hoping ye were safe and healthy. At the verra least, well cared for.”

  Memories of the journey to the Highlands flooded Faye’s thoughts as the reality of everything that had transpired overwhelmed her. The forceful way she’d been stolen from her home. How she’d spent so much of that journey bound in chains like a prisoner, shoved in that damn box. Then left in a room to wait for a man she could barely remember to claim her as his wife.

  A sob burst from her, and her mother pulled her into an embrace. “I swear that if he hurt ye, I’ll kill him.”

  “He didn’t,” Faye lied. Her mother couldn’t know the truth of it. Faye wouldn’t have her mother embroiled in any of this, or her sisters for that matter. She wanted her family as far from her grandfather as was possible.

  Faye burrowed into her mother’s embrace even as a voice in the back of her head told her a grown woman shouldn’t need such comfort from her mum. But she couldn’t bring herself to pull away. Not when her mother provided such solace.

  “I’m too old for this, Mum,” she offered weakly.

  Her mother exhaled a hard breath and finally released her. “It doesna matter how old ye are, lass. Ye’ll always be my bairn. Ye and all yer siblings.” Tears shone brightly in her eyes, but her voice remained clear.

  “We’re here to bring ye home.” Kinsey puffed out her chest and glared around them. “And if anyone tries to stop us, I’ll put an arrow through their eye.”

  “Ye needn’t be so violent,” Clara chastised before their mother could.

  Kinsey nudged Faye with her elbow. “Says the one of us with perfect aim. Even she brought her daggers with her.”

  Of all of them, Clara had the most skill when it came to weaponry. She could pin a fly against a tree with the point of a dagger from seventy paces away. All without so much as hesitating to aim. Were it not for her impossibly gentle nature, she could have possibly been the best mercenary Scotland had ever seen. England, too, at that.

  “Did ye actually bring yer daggers?” Faye asked in surprise.

  Clara simply shrugged, as if it were of no concern. “We want ye home and will stop at nothing to see ye safe.” She smiled tenderly at Faye. “We love ye.”

  Love.

  If it were a tangible thing, it would be in Faye’s hands right now, as thick and warm as a coverlet filled with down, something she could wrap around her shoulders.

  Ewan rose forefront in her mind.

  Could I love him?

  “We must go.” Kinsey pulled at her arm, dragging her a step forward.

  Faye shook her head. “I can’t go.”

  “Have they threatened ye?” Kinsey demanded.

  “Whatever it is, ye need not worry about it,” Clara confirmed. “We’re here.” She settled one small hand on a dagger at her belt.

  The show of intent from someone as soft-hearted as Clara tugged anew at Faye.

  “I’m not leaving,” Faye protested.

  If she allowed herself to be taken away now, her grandfather would most likely be back for Clara. To force her into another marriage with some other neighboring clan whose favor he sought. Faye’s presence at Dunrobin meant he would keep his word and leave her family be.

  “Let us get ye gone from this place.” Kinsey tugged at Faye’s arm again.

  A figure appeared in the doorway of the castle.

  Ewan.

  Faye’s pulse quickened.

  “I canna go,” she said again.

  Her mother and sisters looked toward the doorway as Ewan descended the stairs, his handsome face set with an intense expression Faye couldn’t make out.

  Kinsey slid her gaze cautiously from Ewan to Faye. “Who is this?”

  “This is Ewan Sutherland, Chieftain of the Sutherland clan,” Faye said by way of introduction. “My husband.”

  Silence followed Ewan’s introduction to Faye’s family as they stared up at him with apparent wariness.

  While Faye’s sisters all had the same slender nose and large eyes, taking after their mother by the look of it, they did not share her fair hair. The one with wavy red tresses put herself in front of Faye. “She’s returning home with us.”

  “We’ve been wed for nearly a fortnight.” Faye shifted around her sister and came to his side. “Ewan is a good man.”

  Kinsey’s mouth fell open. “He forced ye to marry—”

  “He didn’t,” Faye said vehemently. “I made my own decision.”

  Under the fear of a threat.

  Ewan kept the words to himself. This was Faye’s family. It was her decision what she wished to tell them on the matter of their marriage. And what she wished to keep secret.

  Faye’s dark-haired sister glanced first to her, then to him, before cautiously stepping forward. Her smile was kind and genuine as she offered a small curtsey. “I’m Clara.”

  Faye’s mother approached tentatively, also looking to Faye as though weighing the truth of her words. “I’m her Mum, Cait.”

  They all looked to the red-haired sister, who scowled back at them. She folded her arms forcefully over her chest. The bow slung over her back awkwardly tipped to the side, making her have to uncross her arms to toss it back into place, which made her scowl all the more.

  “That’s Kinsey,” Faye said with a sigh.

  “Welcome to Dunrobin Castle,” he said. “The evening meal was just served. We’d be honored if ye’d join us.”

  Faye put her hand around his arm. “Please join us. We can speak on this more later.”

  “Of course.” Cait approached her and pressed a kiss to her brow. “Ye do look well, daughter.”

  Faye smiled at her mother. “I am well cared for here.”

  Ewan offered Cait his other arm, which she took with a careful smile.

  Clara joined them next, followed by a reluctant Kinsey. Together, the four of them returned to the Great Hall, where Ewan had them sit at the dais with Faye and himself as their honored guests. After a quick introduction to Moiré and Mo
nroe, they all settled down to eat.

  Kinsey glanced at the platter of food and groaned. “Eel?” She turned an accusatory look at Faye.

  “Shush now.” Cait shot her daughter a stern look.

  “It isn’t what I ordered to be served tonight,” Faye said apologetically.

  Clara took a piece, then did little more than stare at it.

  “Ye don’t have to eat that, Clara,” Faye said.

  Clara lifted her gaze, her face bright with relief. “I didn’t want to be rude.”

  Faye laughed. “Oh, Clara, ye’re too kind. We spent far too long eating this when we were children to ever have to endure it again.”

  “And we ate so much.” Kinsey grimaced.

  “It wasna that terrible,” Cait protested.

  All three of her daughters stared at her, skeptical.

  “Well,” she conceded, “mayhap it was.”

  They all laughed this time, including Ewan, who promptly ordered more bread to be brought to the dais.

  “Do ye remember the time Faye managed to bring home that old chicken?” Kinsey asked. “I’ve never seen such a pathetic bird in my life, but we ate it as if we were kings being served the greatest feast.”

  Faye’s cheeks darkened with a blush, and she glanced at Ewan with apparent discomfort. “We don’t need to speak of such things,” she said to her sisters.

  “I’ve had my fair share of eel.” Ewan made a face of disgust that made Kinsey laughed. “My da loved it, but I could never stand it. ’Tis mayhap the first time it’s been served here since his death.”

  “I don’t understand what happened to the venison.” Faye shook her head. “Tomorrow should be a pigeon pie. I fear what may come out instead.”

  “It happens sometimes,” Moiré offered politely. “’Twas yer first day running the keep.”

  “And ye did a fine job of it.” Ewan beamed proudly at Faye.

  “Except for the eel.” Faye frowned at the food that had caused so much offense.

  “Talk to cook on the morrow.” Ewan reached for a plate of vegetables. “’Tis no great concern. Regardless of what we’re eating, ’tis among good company.”

  And it was. He hoped Faye’s family might be what finally set her at ease, allowing her to be herself truly and mayhap open up to him.

  She smiled so much more among them. A bright, unfettered grin that lit the room with her joy. He’d never seen her so happy, and it made him realize how all this time, she must have been miserable.

  Aye, she had been the one to make the decision to wed him. But after witnessing what she regained with her family, what she had been forced to give up marrying him, he couldn’t allow her to keep making such a sacrifice. Even though the threat had not been his doing, she had still been coerced into their union. He could overlook it no more.

  Though it twisted an ugly knot in his chest, he knew what he needed to do.

  14

  Faye finally departed the Great Hall with reluctance. The hour had grown too late to keep her sisters and mother at the dais after such a long journey.

  After all, they would speak again on the morrow.

  But it was still so hard to leave. For the first time since she had arrived in the Highlands, she felt a sense of completeness. Having them appear was like a dream, a mirage of happiness she feared might disappear if she let it go for even a moment.

  “’Twas good to meet yer family,” Ewan said as they made their way up to their chambers.

  “I think ye even won Kinsey over in the end.” She smiled at him, though the action felt forced.

  Exhaustion pressed in on her as if her energy had been fed by her family, and now without them, she was nothing but a husk once more.

  In the past evenings, Ewan had always brought her to his chamber without passing by her door. Tonight, however, he hesitated in front of her chamber. “If ye’d rather be alone tonight…”

  She shook her head. Of all nights, she did not want to be alone on this one. Except this time, the strange hollowness ringing out within her could not be burned away by desire. She didn’t want Ewan in the way a woman wanted a lover, but in the way that a wife needed her husband. She longed for his arms around her, cradling her to his powerful body and shielding her from everything hurting in her heart.

  They entered his chamber together, but neither reached for the other, not like they’d done previously when an insatiable lust had spurred their actions.

  Instead, Ewan watched her with tenderness. “Was it difficult to see them again?”

  Tears immediately filled Faye’s eyes. She’d spent the night controlling them, wrangling her feelings with the force it would take to contain lightning.

  Ewan said nothing. He simply opened his arms, and she ran to him, collapsing against him as the tears came. His head bowed over her, enveloping her in his warmth, his strength and the wonderful spicy scent of him.

  “I know ye’ve missed them,” he said gently.

  She nodded against his chest.

  He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “This isna fair to ye.”

  She leaned back to look at him better. “What do ye mean?”

  “For ye to stay here.”

  An indiscernible emotion flickered in her chest. “’Twas my decision to make.”

  “One ye were pressed into in order to keep yer family safe.” He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. The gesture was affectionate, as though trying to soften an impending blow.

  “Just as ye wed me to keep yer people safe,” she replied slowly, warily. “We are both protecting those we love.”

  He shook his head, and a muscle flexed against the sharp edge of his jaw. “It was worse for ye, being taken from yer home.” The firelight caught in his eyes and revealed a troubling flash in the hazel depths.

  He gently took her hand in his and pulled back her sleeve to reveal the red bands around her wrists where her shackle wounds had recently healed. “Ye dinna talk about it, but I know what ye went through was terrible.”

  She turned her face away so he couldn’t see her expression as she recalled exactly how bad it had been. Aye, she didn’t talk about it. She hadn’t even wanted to think about it. Not when the memories were even more painful than the abuse.

  “I thought I could make it better, that I could protect ye. But seeing ye tonight…” His voice caught and drew her attention back to him.

  “Faye, ye were happy.” He ran a finger down her cheek in a delicate caress. “Truly happy. And ye’ve no’ been that way once since ye’ve been here. I’ll no’ commit ye to a life of misery.”

  “I haven’t been miserable,” she protested.

  “But nor have ye been happy.”

  His statement plunged into her heart like a dagger. The impact carried so much pain, she almost gasped.

  “I cannot leave,” she whispered. “If my grandda found out…”

  “He won’t,” Ewan said so vehemently, she almost believed him.

  “He would,” she replied. “If I left and never came back, he would know.”

  Ewan went silent suddenly, and the impact of her own words hit Faye liked a punch.

  If I left and never came back.

  If she never saw him again. A fresh fission of pain ripped inside of her and warred with the ache of being away from her family. The sensation was new and unexpected.

  And it had everything to do with the thought of losing Ewan.

  She didn’t want to think of what the new tendril of emotion meant to her. Not when doing so might pry open her heart more than it had already been.

  “Ye need a son,” she whispered.

  He swallowed. “No’ at the expense of keeping ye here like a prisoner. I care for ye too much to have ye sacrifice everything for me.”

  She studied him for a long, quiet moment. His expression confirmed the sincerity of his words, though she needed no proof. Somewhere along the way, she had begun to trust him. She knew how urgently he needed a son, another barrier between the chieftainship an
d Cruim.

  And he was willing to give up that prospect for her happiness.

  “I can’t.” She shook her head. “I can’t do this. It isn’t possible. I couldn’t deprive ye of a son. Not when the safety of the clan is at stake.”

  His jaw clenched. “Ye could come back for visits as ye used to when ye were a bairn. Eventually, we would have a son and ensure Ross knew ye were here so he wouldna question our marriage.”

  “Ewan…” She searched for words but found none when she couldn’t even sort through the clutter of her own thoughts. What he offered was more generous than any man in his position would.

  It was a chance for her to return home. To be happy. And at great cost to himself.

  “Dinna answer now,” he added quickly. “Think about it.”

  She nodded, unable to tear her gaze from her husband. How could such a large man who appeared cut from stone have such tenderness in his heart? He was not only good to his people; he was good to her, putting her happiness before his own needs.

  He drew her toward him and curled his strong arms around her once more, wrapping her in comfort she lost herself in. Yet it only made the agony in her chest twist tighter. This time, however, she understood the reason.

  The wall she’d built around her heart, erected by a lifetime of pain and betrayal, had finally begun to crack.

  Ewan wasn’t certain when to expect an answer from Faye. He hadn’t given her a date to reply, not when he wanted her to think it through and come to her own decision. Still, he could not clear it from his mind, alternating between fear at the certainty of losing her and hope that she would stay. In the end, he was proud of himself for having the courage to do what was right for her to ensure her happiness.

  She was correct that he needed an heir, especially with Cruim having married Mistress Blair. The union did not sit well with him and continued to rankle him. He’d learned long ago not to ignore the feeling in his gut, and this one sat there like a boulder.